


Complications of Conversation

by almostjulie



Category: House M.D.
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:19:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almostjulie/pseuds/almostjulie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding the right words is hard. Sometimes you never find them. The best thing to do then is to find another way.</p>
<p>Set during and after Sex Kills. The dialogue in the beginning is borrowed from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complications of Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to LJ in 2006.

"Does it occur to you that there's some deeper guidance than 'keep your mouth shut?' That maybe a friend might value concern over glibness? That maybe -- maybe I'm going through something that I need to have an actual conversation about?"

Emotional breakdowns by Oncology Department Heads in hospital hallways aren't good for their reputations.

Consoling said Department Heads is even worse for Heads of Diagnostics with reputations of their own to maintain. At least from the perspective of Heads of Diagnostics -- Oncology might have a different view of which ranks higher. 

House is grateful when his pager goes off. Partially for giving him an excuse to walk away, partially for giving him time to choke down thoughts of offering some show of sympathy and to spit up the much more appropriate for the setting asshole-ish response.

"Does it occur to you, that if you need that kind of a friend, that you may have made some deeper errors?"

He'll make it up to Wilson later, somewhere where curious eyes can't see and eavesdropping ears can't hear and sniffing noses can't -- no, there aren't any smells associated with this. The repair will happen in one of their offices, if it comes to that. But preferably it will take place in his own apartment, with the twin distractions of television and hard liquor to diffuse the situation from becoming too Lifetime 'Movie of the Week.' Because even in the company of friends, Gregory House has a reputation to maintain.

So yes, he thinks, as he forces himself not to look back at the hurt he knows is playing over his friend's face, he'll make it up to him soon -- but not here. He'll seek Wilson out, and he'll make amends.

As it happens, Wilson comes to him. He's accompanied by baggage, the literal kind -- not just the emotional crap from earlier. Though that's clearly weighing him down, too.

House ends up opting for the much weaker beer and opting out of the tv entirely.

There isn't actually that much conversation, it's mostly shared silence. They're both okay with that; it's the company that counts more than anything else at this point. By skipping over the conversation, they manage to avoid the accompanying breakdown, and press right on through to the picking up the pieces scene of _The Aftermath of James Wilson's Marriage_ , a play now in its third run.

Eventually, Wilson leaves House sitting on the couch while he retrieves bedding for himself from the closet. House passes the time by staring at the ceiling. It's a moderately nice ceiling, as ceilings go. Much nicer than the ones in the hospital. No fluorescent lights. Sheets and pillow land with a soft whomp next to House. He looks at Wilson standing in front of him: tired eyes and slumped shoulders. He should say something.

In emotional moments, House has to admit that he's not great with words. Too many years of honing the fine art of being a jerk means that he often ends up with his foot in his mouth. Metaphorical foot, of course: his real-life flesh and blood leg doesn't allow for that kind of maneuver. And then there's that whole 'reputation to maintain' thing. Guys like House just don't go around expressing their feelings. Even if they have fairly strong ones for the person standing in front of them.

Thankfully, however, House knows Wilson well enough to know that the man doesn't actually expect too much overt sympathy from him, no matter how much he might want it.

Words can be overrated though.

Not that he practices in front of the mirror, but House suspects he's decently good at conveying the emotions he needs through his eyes, through his body language. He suspects it because Wilson has stuck around for years, and it's pretty much all he ever gets from House in the touchy-feely emotional department.

So he meets Wilson's eyes and fixes him with a look that he hopes will express all the things he's not willing to voice. Things like 'sorry' and 'why do you keep doing this?' and 'it'll be okay' and 'I'm here, you know, whenever you need me' and 'god, Jimmy, we're fucked up, aren't we?' and everything else that he never says to Wilson.

Wilson does get it. He frowns and nods and looks away when it becomes too much. House levers up off the couch and finds himself standing so close to Wilson that he's not sure if the beer he smells is in on his own breath, or Wilson's.

Something more is called for. He tentatively raises his hand to Wilson's shoulder and gives it a few experimental pats, which slow down into a squeeze. He watches as Wilson closes his eyes and tries not to shudder as he exhales. House tries to keep himself from doing the same. They both fail. 

He rarely lets himself indulge in physical contact like this. That's what it is: an awkward, uncomfortable indulgence. But sometimes -- sometimes, it's the only way left to communicate.

\-- end --


End file.
